The Neverending Story

M.U.S.I.C

 I don't think I can make it without you.

It's a hard long year for me... 

I used to love doing everything on my own,

but now I'm so sick of being alone.

"It is hard to not feel broken when it is always quiet enough to hear your pieces rattle."

I gave up everything to be here in New York. And I regret it.

I have no one waiting for me to come back home.

But I can bear it in some way.

I can stand it in some way.

So I find my own way in music.

Tablo's songs have been a great comfort for me these days.

It's depressing, but its comforting too.

"Home" makes me think about, home.

I miss every part of my home.

"Because I disliked the unfamiliar happiness more than the familiar sadness, I threw away my footsteps"

That's what I've been doing. I keep myself inside because I am so tired of trying.

"Now I cry without tears
Just like breathing, I cry again
The sadness that became a home
Though I try to take a step out, I cry at the doorstep
I cry, without me knowing"

I still remember the days when I cried myself to sleep.

But I stopped crying somehow.

Cause nobody will hear my tears no matter how long I cry.

"Crying is easy like breathing - the more you hold it in, your more you let out"

Sometimes I can't control my tears but I have to hold it back when my roomate's here...

I can't sleep without music. I feel so lonely to sleep without music.

Another one. "Airbag."

"There is no home, or there is nowhere to go

Or is it that there are lots of places to go

But no one to wait for me?

Loneliness is a common thing to me

Will I be able to share myself if there was someone by my side?

I’m dangerous right now

Don’t crash into me

I guess I’m all alone again

Once again

I guess I’m all alone again

Not again"

I love Tablo's lyrics.

It describes my heart so explicitly. 

We share the same part of loneliness...

And being lonely makes us so fragile that we keep pushing people away.

I don't want to be lonely. Not again. But once again...